So You’re Getting Married…Culture Clash?

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? (2 Corinthians 6:14)

So at this point in your relationship, you’re head over heels in love... news flash, you can’t hang on love alone to help you navigate your relationship. When the novelty of wedded bliss starts to wear off and day-to-day tasks settles in, how are you going to go about resolving issues when you and your mate come from totally different backgrounds and your beliefs about life do not line up? Following, are a few questions to discuss with your love interest before deciding to leap into wedded bliss:

·        Which holidays do you celebrate and why?

·        How important is it to you to acknowledge birthdays and anniversaries?

·        What are your beliefs on gender roles?

·        What are your beliefs on race and ethnicity?

·        Does pop culture influence your lifestyle?

·        What are your beliefs on the role of a husband and wife?

·        What political party do you mostly identify with and why?

·        Have you ever been arrested or convicted of a crime?

·        Have you ever served time in the military?

·        Are you a pet lover?

·        Has cultural background ever been a factor in a break up?

·        How important is it for you to be involved in your community (e.g. church or neighborhood) or participate in charitable events?

Remember ladies; don’t let the old adage, “I can’t help who I love,” allow you to enter into a mismatched union. If this were true, God wouldn’t have told us to love our neighbor as ourselves. In love, there is always a choice.

XOXO,


Jay

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So You’re Getting Married…Ambitious Much?

Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest. (Ecclesiastes 9:10)

An ambitious woman will end up resenting her partner if he lacks determination. You may have a partner that is very caring and loves you whole heartedly, but this will not make up for his lack of drive. If you’re a person that is always striving to do better, whether it’s in your career or personal life, you’ll always feel like you’re being held back if your partner is content with a mediocre life. Following are a few questions you will want to ask during your courtship:

·        Are you pursuing your dream career? If not, why?

·        How many jobs have you had? How long did you stay on those jobs?

·        Why did you quit your last job?

·        Have you ever been fired? Why were you fired?

·        What does your career entail?

·        What is your typical work day like?

·        What is the highest level of education you have obtained?

·        Do you often take courses (degree or non-degree) that will help you advance in your career or profession?

·        Has the level of education ever been a factor in a break-up?

·        What are your plans for retirement?

Remember ladies; what makes you happy, may not be true for the next person. And you cannot judge or change a person’s beliefs on what makes them happy. You need to accept them for who they are or move on. Secondly, do not allow your career ambition to be a priority over your marriage (will explain further in another blog posting).

XOXO,


Jay


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