So You’re Getting Married…Financially Compatible

Where there is no vision, the people perish. Proverbs 29:18a

According to 100 relationship experts that were surveyed, finances are one of the top ten causes for divorce, surpassing infidelity (The Huffington Post). When there is no plan, then plan to fail – this credence rings very true when managing house hold income. If couples do not see eye-to-eye in overseeing their finances, then their marriage is doomed. You may be the mate that likes to spend money for the here and now, while you’re potential mate may be the saver, looking towards the future. Here are a few questions you will want to ponder with your significant other before getting engaged:

·        How much do you make annually?

·        How important is money to you?

·        Are you currently paying child support or alimony?

·        Do you believe in prenuptial agreements?

·        Do you set a limit on purchasing big ticket items, such as, cars, T.V.s and high-end jewelry?

·        What are your financial goals?

·        Do you have a set budget, if so, how do you go about establishing a budget?

·        How much debt have you accrued?

·        In a marriage, who should be responsible for handling the finances?

·        Do you believe in purchasing items on credit?

·        Do you have a savings plan and/or retirement plan?

·        Outside of paying for necessities, such as, food, housing, and transportation, what do you mostly spend your money on?

·        Has money ever been a factor in a break-up?

Remember ladies; pay attention to your man’s spending habits. If he isn’t very forth coming with answering your questions or he’s choosing to hide financial information, then take the high road because he’s not the man for you.

XOXO,



Jay



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So You’re Getting Married…Bon Voyage!

Can two walk together, except they be agreed? Amos 3:3

You would be surprised to know how many married couples are not travel compatible; however, they did not find this out until after they said, “I do.” And believe it or not, many couples have divorced over a mate not being able to or willing to travel abroad. Some people have a phobia of flying, while others have an extreme case of car sickness while traveling long distances. You’re probably thinking that this factor is so minute that it shouldn’t be a deal breaker. This may be the case with you, but to many, traveling is a part of one’s culture or identity. On the other hand, you may be a frequent traveler, while your potential mate is okay with traveling to a new destination every five to ten years. Everyone has their own idea of travel. Here are a few questions to ponder over during a date night:

·        Do you have a fear of flying?

·        Do you like to take road trips?

·        Do you enjoy cruises?

·        If you could travel to any place in the world, where would you go?

·        How often do you travel abroad?

·        What are some places you have a desire to visit?

·        Do you prefer room service in a luxurious hotel or camping in Yosemite?

·        What places have you traveled to?

·        When and where is your next travel destination?

·        What are some activities you like to pursue while traveling?

Remember ladies; you cannot change one’s perception on life, you can either accept them for who they are or move on.

XOXO,


Jay


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A Self-Life

Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Philippians 2:3-4

Me, Myself, and I is the type of world we live in – a society that encourages, promotes, and dotes on selfishness, served on a dish of glitz and glam. The most dangerous type of selfishness is encouraged through subtleties, such as, social media and independency: social media is a platform of selfie pictures that say, “Look at me,” or “Look at what I am doing” or “What I have.” Independency promotes the clichés, “I am doing me” and “It’s my body, I can do what I want with it,” regardless of whom I hurt or who else is impacted by my decisions.

As human beings, we are innately selfish; therefore, we have to work at not being selfish. At one point in time, women were discouraged to have children before or outside of marriage. Nowadays, women are encouraged to have a child without a father present in the home, because we feel or believe it’s the right time in our life. We have finished college, acquired our dream career, and purchased our idea home, so now is the time to have a child, regardless of how the lack of a family unit will impact our child’s life – we make our life  about what we want, when we want it, rather than what God wants for us in His timing. Society also conveys the more people you can walk on or step on to accomplish your goals, makes you a strong woman, in actuality, being a strong woman is learning to compromise, follow, and sometimes take the back seat. It takes a lot of willpower and strength to learn to sacrifice and compromise. The world conveys the more selfish you are, the more successful and admired you become; however, the duplicities of selfishness are tarnishing. If we’re always trying to take control and have things go our way, this just proves a lack of maturity, self-confidence, and temperance.

Remember ladies; a self-life is a dead end road of loneliness and void. Success comes with learning to get over ourselves.

XOXO,

Jay

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So You’re Getting Married…Home Life

Where there is no vision, the people perish. Proverbs 29:18a

Many couples believe that they can work out the kinks of their home life once they are good into their marriage...FALSE! Your home life can be the very thing that breaks your relationship. Here are a few questions you will want to ponder over a date night:

·        If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

·        Do you prefer the city life, rural, or suburban setting?

·        Do you want to rent or own your own home?

·        What type of home do you prefer to live-in (e.g. number of rooms, bathrooms, style of decorum etc.)?

·        Is it important for you to have your own office space or den?

·        Has your living arrangements ever been a factor in a break up?

·        What is the most favorite part of your home and why?

·        What room do you spend the most time in?

·        Do you enjoy house cleaning or prefer to hire outside services to clean your house?

·        Are you willing to commute to another city, state, or country if your mate’s job relocated?

Remember ladies, this conversation should be discussed during your engagement or courtship, leaving nothing on the table.

XOXO,



Jay

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