So You’re Getting Married…Communicate Much?

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath (James 1:19)

You cannot have a relationship without communication, zip, zero, nada. The root word of communicate is commune. Commune is an action word, which is defined as to converse or talk together, usually with profound intensity, intimacy, etc.; interchange thoughts or feelings (dictionary.com). The biggest challenge that couples have when it comes to communication is that they are not on the same page. Everyone has a different style of communicating and by the time they both figure this out, the relationship is on hinges. Here are a few questions to ask during the dating process to determine if your communication styles are compatible and what to work on to improve your communication:

·        Are you an effective communicator? How do you know?

·        Would you consider yourself a better listener or talker? Why?

·        What have others said about your style of communication?

·        What do you think it would take for two people to communicate effectively?

·        Has communication ever been a factor in a break-up?

·        What is your style of communication when you’re faced with a verbal confrontation?

Remember ladies; if you and your significant other can determine your styles of communication, then you both can come to a meeting of the minds in learning how to communicate more effectively with each other.

XOXO,




Jay


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So You’re Getting Married…Past Relationship Baggage?

Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before (Philippians 3:13).

Everyone has relationship baggage, platonically or romantically. Unfortunately, we take our baggage with us into the next relationship. If left unchecked at the door, some baggage can derail our potential relationships. But it’s left up to you to determine which baggage is more overbearing than others. Following are some questions you will want to ask during the engagement process to determine which cargo is too much to forebear to even consider getting married:

·        What type of person are you attracted to?

·        What do you think it takes to make a relationship work?

·        What are you views on relationship counseling?

·        What are your relationship deal breakers?

·        What’s the longest relationship you have been committed to?

·        What caused the break-up?

·        Do you still communicate or have an ongoing relationship with your ex?

·        What has your dating experience taught you about the importance of commitment and marriage?

·        Have you ever felt insecure in a relationship? If so, why?

·        Have you ever been in love?

·        When was the first time you fell in love?

·        Were you ever engaged to be married? If so, why did the engagement fall through?

Remember ladies; these are questions that you’ll want to ponder for yourself, as well, before making a long term commitment. If most of your responses to these questions have been met with negative answers, then you have some baggage that needs to be checked at the door. You do not want to go into one door, when you have left the other open and unlocked.

XOXO,


Jay


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