Girlfriend, You Better Hush!

Ladies what do we do best, besides shop for cute shoes or dress our butts off? We run that mouth! Hands down, no one can out talk us or out argue us. We are the runner up when it comes to: transporting gossip, telling somebody off, being the expertise at everything, and even cussing someone out if need be – you haven’t been cussed out, until you’ve been cussed out by a woman. We take home ALL the academy awards for every category when it comes to running our mouths. We always have to have the last word.

Our tongue can be our best friend or our worst enemy. The Bible says that life and death is in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21). Therefore, we need to be more mindful of our words. You can hit someone and the wound will heal, but you can damage someone with words that you can’t take back. How many of us have lost best friends, lovers, husbands, family members, broken up households, or missed out on successful opportunities because of our mouth?

Even a fool is thought to be wise when they keep quiet. Your words can deem you as a silly woman or a wise woman. Only a silly woman runs off at the mouth all time with vain words.

Rule of thumb: if your words cannot be edifying or speak wisdom, then girlfriend, you better hush!

XOXO,

Jay

Are You Ready to Receive the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly...Truth About Yourself?

Every woman loves to receive a compliment, even if it’s a lie, we will accept it and carry on like nobody’s business. But when we are told the ugly truth about ourselves, we will whole heartedly disagree. No one likes to be wrong or corrected for their errors, especially, us women (just keeping it real, nod your head yes; even if you lie to everyone else, tell yourself the truth). We always have to be right about EVERYTHING. What woman do you know that doesn’t mind being wrong sometimes? The truth of the matter is we don’t know everything. And there is no such thing as a woman that is all knowing, even if she thinks herself to be so, she is only deceiving herself. Regardless of the titles that we hold, the education that we receive, the grey hairs of wisdom and age, we don’t know it all and never will, not while we’re on earth. 

Solomon was the wisest of them all. There was none like him and there won’t be another after him (Bible, 1 Kings 3:12). And not to say the least, Solomon was a man – so ladies, don’t buy into the hype of those refrigerator magnets that prove us to be right all the time, just because we’re women.

Considering we are human and will constantly make mistakes unknowingly, we should always be open-minded to constructive criticism. If we are constantly told or hear the same things about ourselves, then we need stop being in denial and start taking some self-inventory. There’s a high possibility that everyone could be right and that’s okay because remember, you’re only human and bound to MAKE mistakes. Look at it this way, if you were headed down the wrong street, wouldn’t you want to know, so that you can make a U-turn and head in the right direction? Only a silly woman would continue down the same path after being told repeatedly by different people that she was going the wrong way.

The Bible says that if you give instruction to a wise man, and he will be yet wiser: teach a just man, and he will increase in learning (Proverbs 9:9).

A woman that is ready to receive correction will be wiser in life. A wise woman doesn’t mind receiving constructive criticism because she knows that it will only make her wiser. Remember, if you want that promotion on your job, you’re going to have to be open-minded to hear things about yourself that you may not agree with and be ready to step out of your comfort zone.

And besides, no one likes a know it all.

XOXO,

Jay

A Woman’s Footprints

Have you ever had a girlfriend or do you have that girlfriend that you can’t wait to see? You anticipate her presence at church, work or the gym because every time you see her she always has something uplifting or encouraging to say; especially when you’re feeling down or need some advice she is your go to person? She just always seems to have it going on? Well, what do you think she would have to say about you when you’re not around? What footprints or legacy do you leave behind once you’ve embodied a home or work place…If you could be a fly on the wall, what would you hear about yourself?

Do you leave footprints of encouragement and a fragrance of positivity after you left an environment? Do you instill a character of integrity in your children? Do you embrace your man and uplift him when he thinks all else fails - when he needs it the most? Do you encourage your girlfriends even when you feel like you need encouragement yourself?

A woman always leaves her footprints after she embraces an environment. There is always something to be said about her, from the crown of her head to the sole of her feet, inside and out: “Girlfriend sure could dress her butt off,” “She is such a lady,” “She inspires me to…”

What do you want said about you?

What footprints are you leaving behind?

XOXO,

Jay

So Over Worked

I feel so over worked and due for a vacation. Well, I think I'm past due for a vacation. It's very challenging being a single woman or just a woman period. We have so many things that we have to maintain and keep up with. Not that I'm complaining, but just reflecting.

Today, on my sick day off from work, I watched a talk show with a panel of women, probably in their late twenties or early thirties being critiqued by family, friends, and strangers because they failed to keep up personal appearances and maintain healthy relationships with people in their life. These women, as beautiful as they are, face issues that we as women face on a daily basis. They were critiqued harshly by their family, friends, and the audience for, “Letting themselves go.” Those women, just like most or all women go through stages of being over worked and “Letting ourselves go from time-to-time. We dedicate so much of ourselves to family, work, friends, school etc. and forget to take time out for us. And if we do take time out for ourselves, then we feel guilty or undeserving. The women on the talk show were once considered, “hot, trendy, and skinny” by their peers, but let themselves go due to life’s circumstances and not to say the least, considered unpleasant to be around. Their behavior towards their families and friends was horrendous. I’m pretty sure these ladies didn’t always have horrendous personalities or unattractive appearances; otherwise, I don’t think they would’ve been on the show. Well ladies, I hate to say it, but with all of life’s daily commotion, if we do not carve out some me time, then we will get lost in life’s catastrophes and will soon find ourselves in the same situation, hard to deal with attitudes and unattractive appearances. As women, we need to take time out in order to reflect on our personal well being and state of mind. I can admit that being a woman is hard, especially in a materialistic and vain society, which dotes on physical appearances. We have so much to be concerned about such as, our hair, weight, career, love life, and relationships, in addition to life’s uneventful  and unplanned catastrophes. No wonder why we get physically, emotionally, and mentally side tracked or off base. We’re like the Energizer Bunny that keeps going and going until we just stop working and finally just let ourselves go.

So ladies, take time out for you. There’s nothing wrong with turning off your phone and sipping a glass of wine while enjoying your favorite CD. It’s okay to not want to be bothered by the outside world for a weekend or two. We need to stop and rejuvenate every now and then without feeling guilty. And besides, there’s a big payoff for doing so. You’ll find your self more pleasant to be around and less likely to fly off the hinges when the paper gets jammed in the copier at work.

Girlfriend, go ahead and book that overdue vacation that you deserve.

XOXO,

Jay

Like Minded People Acquaint Themselves with Other Like Minded People

While growing up, my mom always said, “You choose your friends and don’t let your friends choose you” and my dad said, “Associate with people who are smarter than or just as smart as you, so you can learn something from them.” Those are two very profound statements. If you were to take inventory of the list of people you associate with and write down each of their characteristics, including yours (be honest), I am willing to bet that you possess common characteristics that have attracted them to you and vice-a-versa.

Remember:

If you have a friend that’s always gossiping and back-biting…like-minded people acquaint themselves with other like-minded people

If you have a friend that drama seems to follow her everywhere she goes… like-minded people acquaint themselves with other like-minded people

If you have a friend that is unstable minded in every life making decision… like-minded people acquaint themselves with other like-minded people

If you have a friend that is complacent with mediocrity… like-minded people acquaint themselves with other like-minded people

If you have a friend that is always complaining… like-minded people acquaint themselves with other like-minded people

So which like-minded person are you?

XOXO,

Jay

Revamping Your Priorities: Part 2

This post is a follow-up from last week’s article, “Revamping Your Priorities.” Last week I listed an example of a list of priorities that most women would probably prioritize in their life as being life’s most important priorities, but struggle trying to meet the demands of each of these priorities:

·         God or spirituality

·         Family

·         Work

Remember, in life, what you put in, is what you get out. If you don’t spend quality time investing in the most important priorities, then don’t expect worthwhile results.

·         Schedule 30 minutes daily, reading the bible, praying, or worshiping God

·         Schedule time during the week to dedicate to your family and significant other

·         Schedule how much time you will dedicate to post work activities and do not go over your set time frame

Sit down at the beginning of each week and schedule time for life’s most important priorities and then schedule everything else around these priorities. Of course, life will get in the way and people will want to intervene their priorities over yours, but stick to your schedule. Do this for a week and notice how well your week goes: kids are more cooperative, your husband or significant other is helping out more, and meeting work deadlines don’t seem so stressful. If your week goes better than last week, then keep up this routine and revamp your priorities when you start to notice that your life is going hay wire.

XOXO,

Jay

Revamping Your Priorities

If most women were asked to make a list of their life’s most important priorities, their list would probably look like the following:

·         God or spirituality

·         Family

·         Work

However, if you asked them how much time during their day or week do they invest in that list of priorities, you’re mostly likely to get an entirely different answer, which may be similar to this:

5:00 a.m. get ready for work

6:00 a.m. get kids ready for school

7:30 a.m. drop kids off at school

9:00 a.m. – 5:00 p.m. work

6:00 p.m. pick kids up from day care or after school program

6:30 p.m. prepare dinner

7:00 p.m. help kids with homework

7:30 p.m. get kids ready for bed

8:00 p.m. spend time with hubby (maybe) or most likely, work on post work projects until you go to bed

As women, we often become stressed out or frustrated when things in our life don’t seem to go right or as well as we expect: kids are misbehaving at school, husband or significant other doesn't help out enough around the house, or struggling to meet excessive work deadlines. Some stress we cannot avoid such as, family illness, death of a loved one, or our car breaking down; however, other life stresses we can eliminate or decrease if we learn to invest more time in our priorities, instead of just treating them like a to-do-list. Invest, to devote one's time, effort, or energy to a particular undertaking with the expectation of a worthwhile result (Dictionary.com).  If we spent more time investing in our priorities, we can meet our expected end results: children will be more behaved; husband or significant other will be more helpful; struggling deadlines won’t seem so challenging.

Today, make a list of things that you can do throughout the week to invest more time in God, family, and work. 

Remember, life is all about what you put in, "You get out, what you put in."

XOXO,

Jay