So You’re Getting Married…Family Matters

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh (Genesis 2:24).

Family relationships are an intricate part of marriage. A person’s relationship with their family is a tell-tale sign of the legacy they will create within their marriage. So a conversation about your views on Family Matters should not be off the table when discussing marriage. Here are a few questions that you should ask before you consider heading down the altar:

·        Do you want children, if so, how many?

·        Do you have children, if so, how many?

·        Is infertility a deal breaker?

·        Are you from a big family?

·        Are your parents still married and how long have they been married?

·        Are there many divorces in your family?

·        When you were growing up, did your family eat dinner together?

·        Does your family celebrate holidays together?

·        Are you close to your family?

·        How often do you visit your family members?

·        Do you believe in loaning family members money?

·        Would you allow a family member to come live with you?

·        How does your family handle disagreements?

·        Has your family or a significant other's family ever been a factor in a break-up?

Remember ladies; before you say I do, pay close attention to the interaction between your man and his relatives. Your man’s relationship with his family members is an indicator of the type of father he’ll be to your children, in case you both decide to have them.

XOXO,




Jay


CLICK HERE TO LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS.

Woman Down

Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee (Deuteronomy 31:6).

Sometimes life tends to knock us down, or sometimes we fall due to the unfortunate choices we make in life. But all is not lost. Use these uneventful moments to take hold of Jesus' hand to pull you up. Allow God the opportunity to use your tribulations to push you forward in life and give you beauty for ashes. Although the world teaches you to be strong and courageous in your confidence, Jesus wants you to do just the opposite – be strong and courageous in Him. Acknowledge your weaknesses: sex, drugs, food, depression, or any addiction that has a strong hold over your life. Ask Jesus for His help. Tell Him that you need Him and you don't know any other way to get through life. Then get up with confidence in Him, knowing that He loves you beyond measure and that He'll guide your every step into glory.

Remember ladies; life will become unbearable at times, but just know that God promised never to leave or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). You can trust Jesus with your entire life.

XOXO,

Jay

CLICK HERE TO LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS.

So You’re Getting Married…Does Physical Appearance Really Matter?

Behold, thou art fair, my love...thou hast doves’ eyes within thy locks... (Song of Solomon 4:1 in reference to the Shulamite Woman). His legs are as pillars of marble, set upon sockets of fine gold... (Song of Solomon 5:15 in reference to Solomon)

Of course, we're going to put on our best face and outfit when wooing our significant other. However, when we're well into the relationship, we tend to let our physical appearances go. We say to ourselves, "I got him now, he's not going anywhere." Besides, if you have the best man in the world and you're head over heels in love, why would you not want to look your very best for him? On the other hand, he may be thinking the same thing, “I got her on lockdown now,” so he decides to let his gym pass go. While looks may not be everything, they are an intricate part of the relationship. Physical attraction is a crucial component to physical intimacy. Here are a few questions to ponder over during date night to see if your potential spouse takes pride in how he looks or if he's just trying to lock you in before he lets it out (his stomach, lol):

·        How important is it that you always look your best?

·        How important is it to you that your spouse looks her best?

·        Do you frequently undergo cosmetic procedures such as waxes or pedicures?

·        How would you respond if your spouse gained a significant amount of weight?

·        Are you concerned about your physical appearance as you age?

·        What would your response be if your spouse lost a leg or another limb?

·        Has physical appearance ever been a factor in a break-up?

Remember ladies; your man may love you unconditionally, but what it took to get him is going to be what it takes to keep him.

XOXO,


Jay

CLICK HERE TO LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS.

She Think She Cute

Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do (1 Thessalonians 5:11).

Yes, and you think she’s cute too, for you to take notice. As women, we have a bad habit of being so quick to tear each other down, without even pausing to think about what we’re saying or doing.

What crime is there for the next woman to keep herself looking good? If you feel good on the inside, then you’ll want to look good on the outside. Before you leave the house, every woman should want to look good, smell good, but most importantly feel good. There is nothing wrong with looking in the mirror and telling yourself, “Hey girl, you looking good today!” Just because another woman takes pride in her appearance does not mean she thinks she looks better than the next person. And so what if she does, what does that have to do with you? If another woman’s appearance or attitude bothers you so much, then that’s a problem.

Remember ladies; no other woman or person should make you come undone, and if so, then you need to check yourself and ask, “What’s really going on?”

XOXO,



Jay


CLICK HERE TO LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS.

So You’re Getting Married…What About Your Friends?

 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder (Matthew 19:6).

In some relationships, the spouse and their friends come as a packaged deal. If the friends don’t like you, then it’s a deal breaker or vice-a-versa. Believe it or not, couples have divorced because of friends butting into their relationships. Below is a list of questions to inquire between you in your significant other, to determine if your friendships are going to be a make-or-break factor before heading to marital bliss:

·        What type of person would you consider to be a friend?

·        Do you have a best friend of the opposite sex? Why is this person your best friend?

·        Do you believe that the most important friendship to have is with your spouse?

·        How often do you spend time with your friends?

·        Do your friends’ opinions matter more to you than your spouse’s?

·        How important is it to you that your friends are accepting of your spouse?

·        Have you ever had a disagreement with a significant other, due to your friends butting into your relationship?

·        Have your friends ever been a reason for the demise of a past relationship?

·        Have you ever shared details from your relationship with your friends?

Remember ladies; as a rule of thumb, if you have a man that makes you happier, loves you, and treats you like a princess, then keep your relationship business to yourself. There is no need to share these details with your girlfriends. As long as you’re healthy and happy, then they shouldn’t be butting into your business.

XOXO,

Jay


CLICK HERE TO LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS.

So You’re Getting Married…Communicate Much?

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath (James 1:19)

You cannot have a relationship without communication, zip, zero, nada. The root word of communicate is commune. Commune is an action word, which is defined as to converse or talk together, usually with profound intensity, intimacy, etc.; interchange thoughts or feelings (dictionary.com). The biggest challenge that couples have when it comes to communication is that they are not on the same page. Everyone has a different style of communicating and by the time they both figure this out, the relationship is on hinges. Here are a few questions to ask during the dating process to determine if your communication styles are compatible and what to work on to improve your communication:

·        Are you an effective communicator? How do you know?

·        Would you consider yourself a better listener or talker? Why?

·        What have others said about your style of communication?

·        What do you think it would take for two people to communicate effectively?

·        Has communication ever been a factor in a break-up?

·        What is your style of communication when you’re faced with a verbal confrontation?

Remember ladies; if you and your significant other can determine your styles of communication, then you both can come to a meeting of the minds in learning how to communicate more effectively with each other.

XOXO,




Jay


CLICK HERE TO LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS.

So You’re Getting Married…Past Relationship Baggage?

Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before (Philippians 3:13).

Everyone has relationship baggage, platonically or romantically. Unfortunately, we take our baggage with us into the next relationship. If left unchecked at the door, some baggage can derail our potential relationships. But it’s left up to you to determine which baggage is more overbearing than others. Following are some questions you will want to ask during the engagement process to determine which cargo is too much to forebear to even consider getting married:

·        What type of person are you attracted to?

·        What do you think it takes to make a relationship work?

·        What are you views on relationship counseling?

·        What are your relationship deal breakers?

·        What’s the longest relationship you have been committed to?

·        What caused the break-up?

·        Do you still communicate or have an ongoing relationship with your ex?

·        What has your dating experience taught you about the importance of commitment and marriage?

·        Have you ever felt insecure in a relationship? If so, why?

·        Have you ever been in love?

·        When was the first time you fell in love?

·        Were you ever engaged to be married? If so, why did the engagement fall through?

Remember ladies; these are questions that you’ll want to ponder for yourself, as well, before making a long term commitment. If most of your responses to these questions have been met with negative answers, then you have some baggage that needs to be checked at the door. You do not want to go into one door, when you have left the other open and unlocked.

XOXO,


Jay


CLICK HERE TO LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS.