Are You She That He Findeth?

A friend of mine, Nathaniel Haley, pastor of United Christian Missionary Baptist Church, once told me that when a man of God seeks to marry a woman, he seeks for a "wife" and not just a woman that will hold the title of a wife by law.

Just because a woman is married that doesn't mean she is wife material. Thus, the Bible says, "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord" (Proverbs 18:22), implying that with all the women in the world walking around and the ratio of women to men is 2 to 1, men are still faced with the challenge of finding a suitable woman to wife.

As women, we often make the mistake of making a long list of qualities that we want in a husband without really asking ourselves if we hold any of these qualities. According to a survey conducted by Forbes and MSN, following is a list of the top traits that women said they want in a mate and some food for thought:

1. Financial stability - you may be able to match his financial ability or perhaps you make more money than him, but your pockets are like a bottom less pit.

2. Trust worthy - can you be trusted to run the affairs in your household and follow through with work projects or are you a busy body, meddling in the affairs of others while your life is up in array?

3. Kindness - are you genuinely kind to others without expecting anything in return? What would your family members, close friends, and coworkers say about your acts of kindness?

4. A sense of humor - are you always nagging and complaining when things don't go your way?

5. Intelligence - intelligence doesn't only consist of book knowledge, but also how you go about applying that knowledge. Smart people aren't smart because they've earned all As in school and graduated cum laude in their class, they're smart because most of their choices in life out way the bad.

6. Passionate - what have you done with the God given talents and gifts that God has bestowed upon you? Are you using them to serve God and better others? Or are your talents and gifts self-serving?

7. Understanding - are you quicker to listen and hear others out before you respond, so that you can gain a better understanding?

8. Romantic - Do you go out of YOUR way to please others on their birthdays or other significant events that matter to them or do you do things for them that will please you?

9. Sense of style - would your style of dressing be an embarrassment to others if they were seen with you? 

10. A handsome face - are you approachable, always bearing a smile or does your face look like you've been sucking on a lemon?

Humans are innately selfish, we aren't born with wifely characteristics; they’re something that we learn through experience and develop through a relationship with God. The world has its own standard of what a wife should be, but God established a formula for women to live by in order to become a virtuous wife. Throughout the next few weeks, we will closely examine the different characteristics, according to the Bible that makes a wife.

Remember ladies, you don't have to be married to become a "wife." You should already contain the characteristics of one when your future-to-be-husband finds you. Keep in mind that the characteristics you want in a husband, you require them before you both even say I do.

XOXO,

Jay

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Spring Into Summer

Hey ladies, it’s that time of the year again - to gear up your body for the summer. Stop the crash diets, juicing and detoxing, which only leads to binge eating and guilt. Why not enjoy and incorporate healthy eating into your lifestyle? Here are some tried and true practical tips that can easily fit into your budget and daily schedule without breaking the bank and feeling deprived:

·         If you want to manage your daily caloric intake, try myfitnesspal.com, which is a free calorie counter that creates a daily calorie goal to fit your profile. Log your daily meals and physical activity. Myfitnesspal.com also has a free app.

·         Download the free app, “Daily Workouts,” which consist of a total of 6 different workouts for your abs, arms, butt, cardio, leg, or full body, which can be completed in a 10-30 minute segment.

·         If you’re more of an outdoors person, subscribe to a local outdoors’ fitness group at Meetup.com, a social network of various groups of people that share common interests.

·         Don’t deprive yourself from your favorite meals or snacks. You can still enjoy the same foods, guilt-free with a free email subscription of recipes from Hungry-Girl.com, which offers “Tips and Tricks for Hungry Chicks.”

·         When you go out to eat, most restaurants offer double portions for one meal. When the waiter brings your meal, ask for a to-go-box and save half of your food for later.

No muffin top here! Hello two-piece, sundress, and shorts, here I come!

XOXO,

Jay

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Sex Can Kill: Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID)

Pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) is an infection of the female upper reproductive tract that can include the ovaries, fallopian tubes, uterus, and cervix (medicinenet.com).  “The cervix prevents bacteria that enter the vagina from spreading to the internal reproductive organs. If the cervix is exposed to a sexually transmitted disease -- such as gonorrhea and/or chlamydia -- the cervix itself becomes infected and less able to prevent the spread of organisms to the internal organs” (WebMD.com).

Sexual contact is the main reason for contracting PID. Untreated sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) such as gonorrhea or chlamydia are believed to be the primary cause of most PID cases (medicinenet.com).

PID can cause scarring of the pelvic organs. When scarring occurs in the fallopian tubes, it can lead to an increased risk of ectopic pregnancy or infertility (medicinenet.com).

According to WebMD, Symptoms of pelvic inflammatory disease include:

• Lower abdominal pain
•  Fever
•   Rapid pulse
• Chills
• Back pain
•   Pain during sex
•   Abnormal vaginal discharge that is green or yellow in color, accompanied by an unusual odor

WebMD also indicates that women are at greater risk for PID if they:

•  Contracted a sexually transmitted disease such as gonorrhea or chlamydia
•  Started having sex at an early age
• Had PID previously
•   Have multiple sex partners

 Ladies, this concludes the series, Sex Can Kill.  I hope you learned how to approach your sex life more cautiously. And by no means, did I intend to spoil your views toward sex. Sex can also be rewarding physically, emotionally and spiritually, when it is with the right person, but we will table that for another conversation.

XOXO,

Jay

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Sex Can Kill: The Dangers of Sperm

Other than the obvious tell-tale signs or red flags when you’re with the wrong man, research has shown that a woman can be allergic to a man’s sperm. An allergic reaction to a man’s sperm is caused by a high concentration of protein in the semen, which can be too high for your body to adapt (www.nydailynews.com). Listed below, are a few allergic reactions:

o   Hives

o   Difficulty breathing

o   Swollen eyes

o   Diarrhea

o   Problems conceiving

o   Burning and swelling of the vagina

o   Early miscarriage

o   Reddening, swelling or a raised, itchy red wheal (bump) that looks similar to a mosquito bite on your skin

o   Anaphylactic shock

Some of these symptoms such as, anaphylactic shock can lead to death. Symptoms may appear immediately or may be delayed from 30 minutes to one hour after exposure. Symptoms may also disappear and then recur hours later. Once symptoms are present, they develop quickly. (www.wellness.com).

Remember ladies, if you’re allergic to a man’s sperm, it’s because he is not the man for you.

XOXO,

Jay


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Sex Can Kill: The Dangers of HPV

HPV (Human Papillomavirus) is one of the leading causes of cervical cancer and has infected an average of 50% of the population participating in sexual activity (WebMd.Com). There are no symptoms of HPV, with the exception of the strain that causes genital warts. Many women and men don’t even know they have contracted the virus.

You are at risk to contract HPV IF you:

o   Have sex at an early age

o   Have many sexual partners

o   Have a sex partner who has had multiple partners

According to the Center for Disease Control, many people assume that HPV only impacts young women or teenagers, but cases have been reported that HPV has impacted the older generations as well.

Remember ladies, HPV is not just a, “loose woman’s or nasty woman’s disease.” Even a virgin can contract the virus from literally bumping and grinding. No penetration has to be involved. Not only do you need to know who you are sleeping with, but who you’re bumping and grinding with as well.

XOXO,

Jay

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Sex Can Kill

Ladies, did you know that having rough sex will eventually damage your body? Rough sex may feel good to you at the time, but a man can actually jam his penis into your vagina, hitting your cervix, which may cause post-cramping, bleeding, and overtime cervical erosion, which is the inflammation of cervical cells which causes vaginal discharge, bleeding during sexual intercourse and in between periods. Cervical erosion will also cause the wearing away or thinning of your cervix, which is needed for your body to carry a baby to full term (mDhill.com).

Just like men have different penis sizes, women have different vaginal canal sizes. “The average length of a woman’s vagina can range from 3 to 4 inches long…it can double in length when aroused” (Lissa Rankin, MD, gynecologist and author of What's Up Down There? Questions You'd Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend). When God created you, He designed your body just perfectly to fit the mate, whom He created you for.

Our bodies were not designed to have multiple sexual partners and when we choose to sleep with multiple men, we put ourselves at risk for contracting HPV, the Human Papillomavirus. HPV is a sexually transmitted disease that develops in the skin or mucous membranes. HPV can be found in the vagina, cervix, mouth, anus, throat, or penis head. There are over 100 different strains of HPV such as, genital warts. And you are probably thinking, “Well I can have my man put on a condom and I’ll be fine,” but considering that there are over 100 different strains of HPV, condoms will not always protect you from contracting one of the strains (medicalnewstoday.com).

Betcha didn’t know that did ya? Stay tuned next week for part 2.

XOXO,

Jay

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What Will You CHOOSE in 2014?

Did you know that your life tells a story and that each year is another chapter? Everyday God wakes you up, you are granted with the opportunity to choose how you will approach your day. We have the choice, for the most part, to choose how our chapter will begin and end. We do not have any control over life’s circumstances such as losing a love one, but we can choose how we will love them while they’re here; nor do we have control over our job moving across country, but we can choose to do the best of our abilities while we’re on the job. Will you have a fruitful and prosperous year or another year of complaining and winning about what went wrong? How will you choose to embrace the good, the bad, and the ugly that this year will entail?

Ladies, make a commitment to yourself this year that you will CHOOSE to be joyful and TRUST God, no matter what this year holds.

Use the following template to help you get started. Fill in the blanks with action words:

When people talk bad about me behind my back, I will_____________________.

When I am told I am not good enough, I will___________________________.

When people treat me like I am inferior to them, I will_________________.

If my employer decreases my pay due to budget cuts, I will__________________.

If my car breaks down, I will______________.

Remember, ninety percent of life’s situations are in response to our attitudes. We can make the outcome of any situation a whole lot better if we CHOOSE to respond with a positive attitude. So what attitude will you choose to take on in 2014?

XOXO,

Jay

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