Wake-up. Work out. Eat healthily. Apply anti-aging cream. Apply sunscreen. Repeat.

For bodily exercise profiteth little: but godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come (1 Timothy 4:8)

These methods are a very notable, but they are subpar if your inner man is dwindling away. If you lack love and dignity for someone who doesn’t look like you, you only respect those that respect you, you choose not to get along with others that disagree with your opinion, or you’re always angry then your daily fit and anti-aging routine is futile. Hence, that is why the expensive anti-aging cream is not working, and crow’s feet continue to create roadmaps along the corners of your eyes. You’re fighting an uphill battle. All of these character flaws are stressors on the body. The American Fitness Professionals & Associates states, “Perpetual anger and distress can form permanently on the face in the form of fine lines and deep wrinkles. When the face expresses chronic sad or angry emotions, the constant scowling can turn into wrinkles formed by muscle memory. The more you hold hope, optimism, and joy at the top of your list of priorities, the younger your face will appear. Moreover, happier people live longer often with fewer health problems” (Vivian Rivera, The Most Common Factors in Premature Aging, January 2018). Employing the Fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance will lead to a longer and much healthier life (Galatians 5:22-23).

Remember ladies; a happier woman is a more productive woman.

XOXO,

Jay

So You’re Getting Married…Let’s Talk About Sex

Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge (Hebrews 13:4).

I purposely made sex the last topic of this series – not that it’s not essential, but couples usually place more emphasis on this subject rather than the previously mentioned topics in this series. Having sex too soon will skew your judgment in other pertinent areas of your relationship. Once you have checked off other matters within your relationship and you find that both you and your significant other are compatible, now you can focus on talking about sex, not having, just talking. While everything else may check off in your relationship, sex can be a deal breaker. Following are some questions to ask during your conversation:

•    Have you ever had a sexual relationship with the same-sex?

•    What are your views on pre-marital sex or waiting to have sex until marriage?

•    How important is sex to you in a relationship?

•    Has sex ever been a reason for a break-up in your previous relationships?

•    What were your cultural upbringings and family views towards sex?

•    Do you enjoy pornography?

•    What sexual activities do you enjoy the most?

•    Are there sexual acts that make you uncomfortable?

•    Have you ever been sexually assaulted?

•    How often do you expect sex?

Remember ladies; sex should always be the last item to check off on your compatibility list. A grounded relationship is like a well-built sundae and sex is the cherry on top.

XOXO,


Jay

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So You’re Getting Married…Family Matters

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh (Genesis 2:24).

Family relationships are an intricate part of marriage. A person’s relationship with their family is a tell-tale sign of the legacy they will create within their marriage. So a conversation about your views on Family Matters should not be off the table when discussing marriage. Here are a few questions that you should ask before you consider heading down the altar:

·        Do you want children, if so, how many?

·        Do you have children, if so, how many?

·        Is infertility a deal breaker?

·        Are you from a big family?

·        Are your parents still married and how long have they been married?

·        Are there many divorces in your family?

·        When you were growing up, did your family eat dinner together?

·        Does your family celebrate holidays together?

·        Are you close to your family?

·        How often do you visit your family members?

·        Do you believe in loaning family members money?

·        Would you allow a family member to come live with you?

·        How does your family handle disagreements?

·        Has your family or a significant other's family ever been a factor in a break-up?

Remember ladies; before you say I do, pay close attention to the interaction between your man and his relatives. Your man’s relationship with his family members is an indicator of the type of father he’ll be to your children, in case you both decide to have them.

XOXO,




Jay


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Woman Down

Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee (Deuteronomy 31:6).

Sometimes life tends to knock us down, or sometimes we fall due to the unfortunate choices we make in life. But all is not lost. Use these uneventful moments to take hold of Jesus' hand to pull you up. Allow God the opportunity to use your tribulations to push you forward in life and give you beauty for ashes. Although the world teaches you to be strong and courageous in your confidence, Jesus wants you to do just the opposite – be strong and courageous in Him. Acknowledge your weaknesses: sex, drugs, food, depression, or any addiction that has a strong hold over your life. Ask Jesus for His help. Tell Him that you need Him and you don't know any other way to get through life. Then get up with confidence in Him, knowing that He loves you beyond measure and that He'll guide your every step into glory.

Remember ladies; life will become unbearable at times, but just know that God promised never to leave or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). You can trust Jesus with your entire life.

XOXO,

Jay

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So You’re Getting Married…Does Physical Appearance Really Matter?

Behold, thou art fair, my love...thou hast doves’ eyes within thy locks... (Song of Solomon 4:1 in reference to the Shulamite Woman). His legs are as pillars of marble, set upon sockets of fine gold... (Song of Solomon 5:15 in reference to Solomon)

Of course, we're going to put on our best face and outfit when wooing our significant other. However, when we're well into the relationship, we tend to let our physical appearances go. We say to ourselves, "I got him now, he's not going anywhere." Besides, if you have the best man in the world and you're head over heels in love, why would you not want to look your very best for him? On the other hand, he may be thinking the same thing, “I got her on lockdown now,” so he decides to let his gym pass go. While looks may not be everything, they are an intricate part of the relationship. Physical attraction is a crucial component to physical intimacy. Here are a few questions to ponder over during date night to see if your potential spouse takes pride in how he looks or if he's just trying to lock you in before he lets it out (his stomach, lol):

·        How important is it that you always look your best?

·        How important is it to you that your spouse looks her best?

·        Do you frequently undergo cosmetic procedures such as waxes or pedicures?

·        How would you respond if your spouse gained a significant amount of weight?

·        Are you concerned about your physical appearance as you age?

·        What would your response be if your spouse lost a leg or another limb?

·        Has physical appearance ever been a factor in a break-up?

Remember ladies; your man may love you unconditionally, but what it took to get him is going to be what it takes to keep him.

XOXO,


Jay

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She Think She Cute

Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do (1 Thessalonians 5:11).

Yes, and you think she’s cute too, for you to take notice. As women, we have a bad habit of being so quick to tear each other down, without even pausing to think about what we’re saying or doing.

What crime is there for the next woman to keep herself looking good? If you feel good on the inside, then you’ll want to look good on the outside. Before you leave the house, every woman should want to look good, smell good, but most importantly feel good. There is nothing wrong with looking in the mirror and telling yourself, “Hey girl, you looking good today!” Just because another woman takes pride in her appearance does not mean she thinks she looks better than the next person. And so what if she does, what does that have to do with you? If another woman’s appearance or attitude bothers you so much, then that’s a problem.

Remember ladies; no other woman or person should make you come undone, and if so, then you need to check yourself and ask, “What’s really going on?”

XOXO,



Jay


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So You’re Getting Married…What About Your Friends?

 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder (Matthew 19:6).

In some relationships, the spouse and their friends come as a packaged deal. If the friends don’t like you, then it’s a deal breaker or vice-a-versa. Believe it or not, couples have divorced because of friends butting into their relationships. Below is a list of questions to inquire between you in your significant other, to determine if your friendships are going to be a make-or-break factor before heading to marital bliss:

·        What type of person would you consider to be a friend?

·        Do you have a best friend of the opposite sex? Why is this person your best friend?

·        Do you believe that the most important friendship to have is with your spouse?

·        How often do you spend time with your friends?

·        Do your friends’ opinions matter more to you than your spouse’s?

·        How important is it to you that your friends are accepting of your spouse?

·        Have you ever had a disagreement with a significant other, due to your friends butting into your relationship?

·        Have your friends ever been a reason for the demise of a past relationship?

·        Have you ever shared details from your relationship with your friends?

Remember ladies; as a rule of thumb, if you have a man that makes you happier, loves you, and treats you like a princess, then keep your relationship business to yourself. There is no need to share these details with your girlfriends. As long as you’re healthy and happy, then they shouldn’t be butting into your business.

XOXO,

Jay


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