The Salvation of Jesus vs. The Independent Woman

 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing (John 15:4-5).

You can have the salvation of Jesus or the independent woman mentality, but you cannot have both. The Bible defines salvation as deliverance, victory, prosperity, help, aid, health, and welfare. In Hebrew, salvation is referred to as Yahshua. Jesus is Yahshua, our salvation – whatever you need him to be at the present moment.

The dictionary defines independent as free from outside control; not depending on another's authority; not depending on another for livelihood or subsistence. An independent spirit exudes selfishness and pride. It only thinks about "I" and not what God wants for my life. It's also a trap for low self-esteem because if "I" doesn't meet set expectations, then "I" feels like a failure. "I" also tacks on a lot of unreasonable and unrealistic outlooks and burdens that are impossible for any human woman to meet and carry.

A spirit of independence keeps us from experiencing the salvation of Jesus. An independent woman’s mindset says to Jesus that “I am self-made. I do not need your help physically, emotionally, spiritually, and financially. I do not need you.” So, therefore, she does not get to experience His forgiveness (this is why she still feels guilty after repetitively asking Jesus to forgive her for past sins) or have an enriching, life-changing relationship with him. An independent woman also misses out on the opportunities to have enriching relationships with others because an independent spirit is controlling, dominating, unwilling to compromise, rude, obnoxious, boisterous, argumentative, unforgiving, unyielding, and overbearing. Independent is a state of isolation. So, therefore, she is often lonely and miserable, no matter the façade she portrays.

Independent woman, take Jesus’ hand and find relief from the heavy burden and unrealistic expectations that you have placed on yourself. Allow Jesus to be your Savior and Lord over your life. Let him make you a new woman. Jesus’ burdens are light and his yoke is easier than the ones we place on ourselves (Matthew 11:28-30). Jesus wants us to have life and life more abundantly, but we cannot have this in the spirit of independence.

At the end of the day, outside of having material things, where does an independent spirit get you? Do joy and peace follow your life?

XOXO,

 

Jay

Let Love Be the Standard

 

And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing (1 Corinthians 13:2).

Allow love to set the bar for everything you do. When you wash dishes, do it in love for those that eat off the dishes and love for Jesus who has made the way for you to have dishes to wash and soap to wash them with. If you serve others at a soup kitchen, do it in love, knowing that Jesus died for those that you are serving, so they are worthy of a full hot bowl of soup and a kind word or smile.

Let love be the standard for how you treat those that seem “hard to love,” understanding that at one point and time you didn’t make it “easy” for Jesus to love you, but He still pursued you anyway; forgave you of your sins, and healed your sicknesses. His love saved you from your destruction and crowned you with loving-kindness and tender mercies. Jesus’ love doesn’t condemn you for every sin that you do and nor does His love put you away (Psalm 103:9). So let love set the bar for how you deal with others.

Love seeks to get an understanding so that you can come to a resolution for reconciliation. It’s willing to see both sides and hear the other person out without jumping to conclusions. Love makes provision without having to be asked. Love provides emotional and spiritual stability, protection, confidence, compassion, empathy, nurture, affection, and financial security. Love is longsuffering – is Jesus not patient in His dealings with us when we're struggling to let go of past habits? Love is kind. Love is not pained at seeing another have and nor does It seek to make others envious. Love does not seek retribution when it is wronged. Love chooses to see the good in others, versus their faults. Love gives others the benefit of the doubt. Love is willing to endure, be patient, and it always hopes for a better outcome. Love makes people better, the giver and the receiver.

Remember, without love, we are nothing. So everything we do let it be done in love.

 

XOXO,

 

Jay

A Virtuous Woman or a Woman of Common Sense?

 

But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light; (1 Peter 2:9).

 A virtuous woman is not common; in fact, she is quite rare. She is highly valued among the priciest of jewel (Proverbs 31:10). She's just as rare as wisdom itself. She does not rely on religious or church doctrine and neither worldly wisdom, and philosophies, such as “being a self-made woman” or “independent.” Her wisdom and instruction come from Jesus. She knows and understands that she can do nothing of her own will and everything that she is and ever hopes to be is because of Jesus. She believes that she can do all things through Christ which strengthens her (Philippians 4:13) - This does not mean she’s independent of Him or does not need the help of others. 

When she makes moves, she’s often misunderstood because she’s peculiar. She’s constantly learning how to make God ruler and Lord over her life. She does not rely on common sense; instead, she uses discernment from the Holy Spirit. 

Common sense is for the common woman, aka the modern woman who conforms to the doctrine and thinking of the world. The common-sense woman follows her heart and leans to her understanding. She believes her accomplishments come from being self-confident, independent, and self-made.

Many of us grew up being told to use common sense. However, according to Jesus, there’s no such thing as common sense, well at least for His people there’s not. As God’s children, we’re told there is a way that seems right unto man, but it leads to death (Proverbs 14:12). So we’re instructed to lean not to our understanding but to rely on God’s direction for our lives (Proverbs 3:5-6). We are a peculiar people, meaning special (Deuteronomy 14:2). We are not to conform to the world’s adages, beliefs, and philosophies, which only leads to chaos (Romans 12:2). And besides, if there were such thing as common sense, then the world would not be in the state it’s in now.

 

XOXO,

Jay

“Please Standby”

And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: (Ephesians 6:15-17).

I am working on a significant business venture that is going to have a substantial impact in God’s Kingdom. This venture is going to bring many individuals to Jesus, and those individuals will have an effect on the lives of those they touch, which will continue to further the work in God’s Kingdom. Also, God has promised to fulfill the promises he’s made to me for my obedience. I am up against a deadline. And of course, Satan has been busy making sure this venture doesn’t come to fruition. Multiple times while working on projects, he has shut down my computer, causing me to lose some of my work. When I am using my laptop for other non-pertinent things, such as watching a movie for 2-hours straight, my computer works just fine. The last time this occurred, I paused and watched a movie starring Dakota Fanning, titled, “Please Standby.” The next paragraph is a spoiler alert.

Dakota plays a young adult with autism, and she resides in a home for special needs adults. Her one goal is to get to Paramount Studios in Los Angeles to submit her script for the Star Trek’s screenwriting contest before the deadline. If she wins, she’ll get $100,000. Dakota sneaks out of her home to make her journey from northern California to Los Angeles. Along the way, she experiences many challenges from having her wallet stolen to getting into a bus accident, to losing half of her typed script. When Dakota faces a problem, she’ll stop and repeat, “Please Standby,” which is implying that instead of giving up or having an emotional outburst, she’ll think through her problems to come up with a solution and then move forward. Unfortunately, she doesn’t win the contest, but she learned life lessons on her journey to Los Angeles.

So I write this to say, do not allow Satan to hinder your journey. Continue to march forward. He knows what lies ahead of you; he knows the impact that you’ll have on others; the promises and blessings that God has for you if you stay the course. In knowing this, you should be relentless in your pursuit to finish whatever God has placed in you. So when the enemy comes to attack you, standby, open your mouth and dart out whatever scripture you use as a weapon to quench his fiery darts. Satan nor his demons can not stand before the Word of God. God’s Word is too powerful.

Remember, ladies, your struggles are not about the destination, but the lessons that you’ll learn along the way. Stay the course; you’re about to turn the corner.

XOXO,

Jay

Money & Time Well Spent

But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19).

Money and time are two things that people complain about not having enough of. Jesus, being the creator of both is the best person to consult about the two. Jesus knows that we can not live in today’s world without money. He knows our needs better than we do and He is more than equipped to provide (Philippians 4:19). Two of the promises that Jesus makes concerning money: 1) Jesus has promised to provide all of our needs if we seek Him first and His righteousness (Matthew 6:32-34). To seek God means that we make a commitment to spend time reading His Word and praying daily to find the will He has for our lives. 2) If we delight ourselves in Him, He’ll give us the desires of our heart (Psalm 37:4). God has given every one of us a purpose. It is our job to find out what that purpose is and start doing it and do it wholeheartedly, with Joy. If you know absolutely, without a shadow of a doubt that God put in your heart to start writing cookbooks for healthier living, then get to it! Don’t delay.

God has created a time and season for everything under the sun (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8). In order not to waste time, consult Jesus at the beginning of your day or week when planning your schedule, since He knows what lies ahead. Say, “Jesus, what would you have me to do in this day or week?” Then use a planner to jot down what Jesus instructs you to do (Habakkuk 2:2). Not only will you save time, but you will also save money by doing this. For example, if I am meal planning for the week, Jesus may direct me to go grocery shopping at a particular store, bringing to my attention that they are having a sale on grocery items.


Learning to consult Jesus about how to use my money and time is a process that I am still learning. So far, I can testify that Jesus has always allowed me to have enough money for the things that He considers a priority. Especially during hard times. And as for time, He leads me to do worthwhile tasks, so I am not wasting time on minute activities. But the most important thing to remember about God’s promises for money and time well spent is based on you seeking God first and your obedience to Him.

XOXO,

Jay

Be Careful What You Manifest Into Your Life

Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. (Proverbs 18:21).


I do not know any woman who wouldn’t consider herself to be an optimist, myself included. However, there are times in our lives where we say negative things about ourselves that may seem harmless such as, “I am an introvert” or “That’s the Taurus in me.” These subtleties cause us to limit ourselves, close doors to opportunities and miss chances to explore purposeful relationships because of the words we manifest into our lives. We have allowed people’s opinions, philosophies, zodiac signs, horoscope readings, ideologies, and personality tests to rule our lives. Just because a personality test says you’re an introvert or your zodiac sign says you can be stubborn that does not mean that you have to allow these principles to have a stake in your life. We have allowed what the world says we should be to become part of our identity and personality. Therefore, we end up falling short of the expectations and purpose that Jesus has created us for. Jesus does not say we’re introverts; He created us for relationships (Proverbs 18:24, Ecclesiastes 4:8-12, and Hebrews 10:25). We cannot get through this life without each other. He did not create us to be stubborn.  His desire is for us to be open-minded, understanding, and uplifting to each other (1 Thessalonians 5:11). What career opportunity has passed you by because of the words you spoke over yourself? Have you closed the door to being a wife and mother because you’ve accepted someone else’s belief about your capability in this role? Society’s opinions and beliefs about who we are are contrary to what God says we are. His opinions should set precedence in our lives because He loves us more than anyone ever could. He sent His son, Jesus to die for our sins.

So the next time you’re prompted to take a personality test on social media or thought about yourself pops up in your mind, ask yourself, “Is this true? Who does Jesus say I am?”

XOXO,

Jay

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A High Maintenance Kingdom Woman

She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. (Proverbs 31:22)

In the movie, “When Harry Met Sally,” there’s a scene where Sally is having a phone conversation with Harry while watching Casablanca. Harry says to Sally, “Ingrid Birdman, now she’s low maintenance. There’s two kinds of women, high maintenance and low maintenance ... an LM [Low Maintenance], definitely? Sally asks Harry which woman is she and Harry responds with, “You’re the worst kind. You’re high maintenance, but think you’re low maintenance.” Sally then tries to downplay her being a high maintenance woman, needless to say, they end up together.

Throughout the Bible, there are many instances where Jesus’ daughters were instructed to fix themselves up, anoint themselves with the best ointment,  and adorned themselves with an array of fabrics (Ruth 1:1-3 and Esther 2:12). God gives His children the best of everything (Ezekiel 16:10-13 and Psalm 84:11). However, a High Maintenance Kingdom Woman is not only adorned on the outside, but she's also adorned on the inside with a meek and quiet spirit (1 Peter 3:4-6). And because she knows who she is and whose she is, she does not allow material things to define her. She wears the clothes, they don’t wear her. She understands that Jesus’ material blessings are an added bonus for being a daughter of the King, the Most High. A High Maintenance Kingdom Woman continues to allow God to maintenance her into the woman He wants her to be.

When a high maintenance man goes to purchase a car, he wants the expensive, high maintenance luxury car. He knows he can afford it. He knows its worth. And he’s willing to put in the time and money to acquire its value. Why? Because a high maintenance luxury car, although expensive, has a great return: brand new, little to no mileage, longevity, no wear and tear, and a guaranteed warranty. He knows that car will carry him far and he does not have to worry about it breaking down. It also comes with many other benefits such as blue tooth and Wi-Fi connection, satellite radio, heated seats, Bose speakers, etc. A high maintenance luxury car not only looks great on the outside, but the inside is impeccable. This is also true when he goes to search for a wife. So the next time a man tries to throw an insult your way with, “You’re too high maintenance,” reply with “Thank you. I serve a High Maintenance God.” Take it as a compliment and look at it as if he’s doing you favor. He’s letting you know that he’s a man that doesn’t want much in life; he will not work hard to improve his life or yours. He’s content where he’s at, spiritually and physically. He will not allow God to mold him into the man that God wants Him to be. He’ll not go out of his way to romance you or pursue you. He’s a Netflix and Chill type of guy. Ladies, don’t short change yourself to get a man. Jesus wants the best for you. He wants to give you the best, but He’s not going to bless a life of mess. He’s not going to send you a High Maintenance Kingdom Man unless you allow Him, a High Maintenance God to remold, reshape, restore, and renew your life. This process will require a lot of maintenance, but Jesus can afford it. He gave His life so that we might have life abundantly (John 10:10).

XOXO,

Jay

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